What Kind of Drunk Am I?

by Emma Rebholz

I’m sure there‚Äôs a Buzzfeed quiz for this,
but I wanted more definitive answers.

I decide the lime is worse than the shot
halfway through sinking
my teeth into the bite,
hands a little hazier than
my head seems to be.

PICK YOUR FAVORITE DRINK:
Whiskey
Tequila
Vodka

I’m sprawled on the carpet
and all the salt on the floor
is digging and then melting
into the skin around my knees.
It’s got me thinking about
Lot’s wife—Ado or Edith
or whatever her name was
if she wasn’t nameless
like I am to most of the people
spinning around me.

When I was younger
I was scared to drink
because I believed writers
were predisposed to alcoholism.

PICK YOUR FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC WRITER:
Jack Kerouac
Ernest Hemingway
Charles Bukowski

While the girls get up
to dance to Ignition Remix
I realize this thought
feels about as ridiculous as we look—
clumsy adults masquerading as children
in paper party hats.
Maybe I’m too ill with life
to think to brush the salt off my knees.

PICK YOUR FAVORITE SPOT TO CRY:
With friends
In your room
In the shower

After we are caught,
I will be surprised by
how much I am able to cry,
by how many tears
are left in a girl
like a pillar of salt.

I will sit under the
steady stream of water
and imagine myself melting,
saving whatever is left
to fill the spaces in
all the empty glasses
I left behind.

The next morning,
they will tell me
I am a fun drunk.

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